This post features funniest husband and wife quotes and sayings ever said. Funny husband and wife quotes are something every couple need in their lives. The relationship of husbands and wives happily goes only when both enjoy the every moment of their life. For some reason if one of them feels sad, its the duty of his/her partner to cheer em up by sending few funny husband and wife marriage quotes.
I love you even when I’m angry.
You remind me of a library book because I always want to check you out.
Let’s flip a coin. Heads, I’m your. Tails, you’re mine.
Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The mafia wants either your money or life… Wives want both!
Always remember: She’s right, you’re wrong, and you’re sorry.
Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.
The only time my wife is listening to me is when I’m saying do you want some money.
My love is like a candle, if you forget me, I will burn your f**king house down.
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.
Husband is the HEAD of the family and wife is the NECK that turns the head around!!
My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me. 🙂
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
If I choose you over sleep, you better feel f**king special.
I won’t cry for you, my mascara is too expensive.
The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
If you love someone, Let them sleep.
In our marriage everything is 50/50. I cook, he eats. I wash, he wears. I shop, he pays!
Sugar is sweet, lemons re tart, I love you more than a unicorn fart.
Everyday I fall in love with you more and more. Except yesterday, yesterday you were pretty fucking annoying.
if you were a jelly bean, you would be my favorite flavor.
I’m really not that hard to please. All you have to do is scratch my back and call me beautiful and deal with my constant mental collapses.
I love you, even when you fart in your sleep.
I thought I was stupid until I got married, my stupidity was confirmed.
It seems like I was only married yesterday……..If it was tomorrow I would cancel it.
Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.
I love you with all my organs and bone marrow.
I may look like a potato now, but one day I’ll turn into fries and you’ll want me then.
My idea body weight is yours on mine.
Let’s cuddle, so I can steal your body heat.
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Enjoy our post about Funniest Husband and Wife Quotes? Then you would love to check out Cutest Love Quotes For Husband as well.